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Já ég er kominn frá Tyrklandi... var víst búinn að lofa rapporti um tyrknezkt bað.

Þessi tegund af baði fer þannig fram að fyrst strippar maður sig niður á Speedo-inn og fer í korters langt gufubað. Þegar því er lokið er baðhópnum rottað saman í mjög svo lekkert og stórt herbergi með HugesAss marmarapalli í miðjunni. Þessi marmarahella er við hitastig sem nálgast efri þolmörk mannslíkamans en ég vildi ekki vera wuss þannig að ég skellti mér á kvikindið eins og allir hinir.

Þarna lá maður í þrjú korter, eða rétt nógu lengi til að augun í manni væru örugglega orðin harðsoðin.
Það sem bjargaði lífi mínu var að ein sætasta stelpa sem ég hef nokkurntíman augum litið tók upp á því að hella yfir mig svalandi vatni með reglulegu millibili úr brons-skál.

Geggjað hot Parísarstelpa á bikini að kæla mig niður! Er annað hægt en að verða bálskotinn í henni? Það eina sem kom í veg fyrir að ég tjáði henni á staðnum óbilandi ást mína og fyrirætlanir um að flytja til Frakklands var illilegt augnaráðið sem ég fékk frá kærastanum. Þó ég væri skotinn í henni þá vildi ég ekki verða skotinn í hausinn. Ofur abbó kærastar geta nefnilega tekið upp á ýmsu.

Eftir þessi þrjú korter kom svo her starfsmanna baðhússinns og skrúbbaði okkur fram og aftur með grófum þvottapokum og sápulöðri á meðan við lágum á marmarasteikarpönnunni eins og bleikar beikonsneiðar.

Þá var komið að Toga-teitinu, okkur var vafið inn í handklæði og sjöl og máttum taka okkur smá breather frá öllum þessum hita. Abbó kærastinn notaði tækifærið og dró Gyðju-Kærustuna sína út, ég ljái honum það ekki þar sem ég og stelpan vorum hálfnuð við að flysja handklæðin utan af hvort öðru með augunum (eða allavega ég af henni).

Þá var komið að legu í brennheitum nuddpotti frá helvíti sem ég marraði í með ekkert uppúr nema nipplana og nefið í dágóða stund.

Næst; nudd. Ein ofur falleg, brúneygð tyrknesk (en samt ekki nærri því eins falleg og þessi franska) lagði mig á nuddbekk og setti gúrkur á augnlokin (á mér, ekki sér) áður en hún makaði brúnni leðju í andlitið (á mér, ekki sér).
Svo var nuddað.
Svo voru leðjan og gúrkurnar fjarlægðar.
Svo komst ég að því að það var barasta alls ekki þessi tyrkneska sem sá um nuddið, heldur skeggjaður og miklu loðnari gaur en ég hafði nokkurntíma gert mér í hugarlund.

Eftir þetta staulaðist ég í langa sturtu raulandi lagið út Crying Game.

Eitt sem ég verð líka að taka fram. Eftir þetta langa legu í svona miklum hita má maður ekki við miklu. Eftir baðið var Tyrknezkt þema-kvöld á hótelinu. Þegar ég var búinn með einn bjór var ég byrjaður að klappa og WooHoo-a eins og hálfviti. Eftir tvo bjóra var ég kominn ber að ofan upp á svið að dansa með feitu þjóðverjunum sem ég hef minnst á áður (þeir voru engu minna berir að ofan en ég). Þriðji bjórinn varð síðan til þess að ég vaknaði morguninn eftir, slefandi í koddann inni á herbergi, pælandi hvað í andskotanum hefði eiginlega gerst.

�

Skrifað Fimmtudagur, 12. Október, 2006

SigReyonTuesday 13 March 2007 - 20:59:36

Read/Post Comment: 22

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